Monday, January 12, 2009

Meeting #3

Today was my meeting with the social workers. Yes, its plural so that means there was more than one at this meeting. There was also a woman from a family-based service program.

I had met with one social worker on Friday, January 2nd to go over the reasons as to why I was meeting with social services. I had posted the reasons in a previous post on this blog. She said at that time, they were considering it a Child Welfare case instead of a Child Protection case. Which that's better than the latter. She said the file would stay open for 4 years, even if there was no other reports filed against me in that time. We had discussed different options for me to work with them so they could see that I was willing to comply with anything and everything they were wanting me to do.

On Monday, January 5th, I met with the first social worker and this family-based case worker. We had talked about everything that was going on with Mikayla and the whole reason as to why I have been referred to her department. I had no issues with either of these two. As I said, I'm willing to do anything and everything I possibly can to prevent my kids being taken away from me.

On Thursday, January 8th, 10 minutes after the kids and I get home there's a knock on the door. I answer it and she introduces herself as yet another social worker. I let her in even though I was a little leary with it just because I hadn't had a chance to straighten up the house quite yet. Of course I told her to please excuse the mess because we had just got home and I was trying to get the kids settled in. She told me that she had received another report about me because of the sores on Mikayla's head. She asked what they were from and I told her. I explained to her that I had put relaxer on her hair to try and make it more manageable and I got it too close to her scalp. The thing that irritates me the most is the fact that I had just got done explaining this to the head teacher in her daycare because she asked me what they were from.

So the visit on Thursday was a Child Protective inquiry. They more or less assumed that I was physically abusing my child. Sure, my kids can drive me batty - but I would walk away before I EVER lost my cool enough to where it resorted to mistreatment of them. They are my world. And without them, no matter how crazy things get around here, I wouldn't be the person I am now. I always joke saying that I'm waiting for the rightful owners to come and claim them, but it doesn't mean I don't love them whole-heartedly.

Since this all came about, I haven't been able to sleep all that well. I'm always worried that today is going to be the day that I have another social worker show up at my door. I know I'm not a bad mother. In 2007, I kind of lost my way but the bond between my kids and myself has been mended. Hopefully the kids will be able to forget the person I was during that time. But I'll forever remember.

So now I have all of these meetings to go to and talk to all these different people. I find myself wishing/hoping this is all a nightmare and I'll wake up at any given moment. No matter how much I hope and pray it is, I know its not.

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